Parents, do you know this feeling, when all of your children are doing well. Or older parents, when you hear from each of your adult children, on the same day, that they are happy and o.k. This happened to me the other day. Is that some electrifying , uplifting parental happy juice, or what? If you could bottle that feeling, you would be billionaire the next day!
Contrast that with the pain that arises when one or more of our children suffer. They get sick, have harm come to them, get lost in an addiction, or caught in a destructive relationship, and we suffer right with them. There may be no greater angst than that of a parenting an adult child who is lost in the darkness.
Blessings and gratitude to all parents in all forms, like Step, Biological, Adoptive, Foster, and Parents of the Heart. It is hard work. There is lots of giving and giving. It calls for immense patience, and lots of getting it wrong and self-correcting. Your kids know more than you do, or at least they think so. And then there are moments of incredible joy, fun and shared laughter. But somehow, right when we think it’s all good, somehow we hit a parental pot hole.
What a journey, this thing called Parenthood. And then there are those who wanted children and could not, or did not. That is it’s own grief, rarely understood by others, and so hard to share. Plus, some chose not to have children; a choice worth of it’s own respect and understanding.
Here at the Center, we want you to know that Emotionally Focused Therapy can help families too. When it gets too tough to share love, and anger rules the roost. Or we are just exhausted, down in our own parental dungeon, dark, alone and wondering if we can make it through their adolescence. When our adult child has drifted in to addiction, depression or just away from us, and we long to reach them. E.F.T. is here. I offer support to parents of children of all ages and to adult children wanting to heal a wound or reconnect with their parents. In my private practice, I provide services for parents of younger children, where they are being encouraged to place them on psychotropic medications, but they want to explore alternative treatments. To parents, of defiant and cut-off adolescents, and to adult children and parents wanting to reconnect.
And to the children, from one parent on behalf of us all, I offer these humble words:
“May your futures be brighter than our present,
May your hearts grow and be filled with love,
May your world be more compassionate and caring,
and your burdens be shared.
May you not get lost in the darkness,
Nor lose yourself along the way,
May you always remember, that
our love for you will stay,
Even when we cannot express it,
Or get lost ourselves in pain,
A parent’s love for a child’s magic is
Once felt, it will always sustain.”
Jim Thomas, 2014