Externship Participants Resource Page

For Externship Participants, we gather resources together here that were referenced or suggested at Colorado Emotionally Focused Therapy Trainings.  We offer them in community, the learning community we co-created anchored in dialogues and gatherings focused on ownership and possibilities.  Thank you for your generous feedback both informally in person and in your written evaluations these past three years.  The evaluation scores are generally very high and your written comments quite helpful.  We value the suggestions for further improvements.  Your feedback helps us identify the strengths and weaknesses of the training and help us attune better to your needs.  We take this training very seriously.  The externship in Colorado is truly co-created both during the event and feedback from you allowing us to further enhance and improve the learning experience.

We hope you find this resource page helpful.

Recommended Readings and Resources In Print:

The Practice of Emotionally Focused Therapy, Creating Connections, 2nd Edition, Sue Johnson, this is the textbook for anyone learning E.F.T. 

Spanish Version of the text above: Practica de la Terapia Matrimonial Concentrada Emocionalmente

The EFT Workbook for therapists learning the model, Becoming an Emotionally Focused Therapists, in addition to being a workbook, this has some resources for use with couples in the appendices.

EFT and Trauma, Emotionally Focused Therapy with Trauma Survivors, an excellent book by Dr. Sue Johnson.   Demonstrates how and why E.F.T. couples therapy is an excellent and healing intervention for trauma survivors (this is supported by a 2013 study applying EFT with couples where one partner is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse).  Also, some therapists find her overview of the model in the first part of the book to be an excellent learning tool.

Summary of E.F.T., Journal Article by Sue Johnson, eft article sue johnsonJournal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, (2007) 37:47–52 – This is a brief overview of the model and research.  Good read for the super busy that want to lock in the experiential and cognitive learning from the Externship.  This article was in your handouts.

Understanding Pursuers and Withdrawers, an The Evolution of Interactional Positionsfrom the ICEEFT Newsletter, by Certified EFT Therapist, Matt Angelstorf, Berlin, Germany.  Titled “The Evolution of Interactional Positions,”  this is a good example of the quality of the newsletter articles, this is a very useful read, particularly if an attendee is still struggling to discern the difference between emotional pursuit and withdrawal.  Remember, we all have a harsh, anxious pursuer inside, a shut down, turn away protective withdrawer and an inner direct route, securely attached person inside waiting to emerge.  🙂

Hold Me Tight®, Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, was referenced numerous times by Jim during the externship, particularly page 30 “primal panic”, pages 84 and 85, about the importance for couples to see the whole cycle, “the whole enchilada,” as Sue writes, pages 94 and 95, the 1st Conversation which goes through the cycle at the ‘swimming in the shallows level,’ as well as the ARE You There Questionnaire, and a very good chapter on “Synchrony Sex.”  This is useful for helping to explain how EFT can help couples with issues regarding sexual intimacy.

Please Note:  Hold Me Tight ® has been translated in to 19 languages!  Here is a link to the Spanish version

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Love, by Sue Johnson, published December 31, 2013, is the source of a number of quotes, such as “Emotional Dependence is not immature or pathological; it is our greatest strength,” that were shared at the Externship.  It is a very inspiring and clarifying read written with Sue’s full passion for attachment theory and EFT.  It is also available in an audio version read by Sue herself.  Great way to anchor in to the model while driving around town, on a plane, working out, etc.

Useful Forms:

EFT-The Cycle, Scott Wooley’s Cycle in a PDF for printing and reference.

EFT Session Progress Notes in electronic form with cycle…great tool for taking notes and anchoring in core concepts of the model.  EFT progress notes electronic version

Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale- RDAS (1), This scale is widely used in research studies related to couples and is intended to measure levels of distress.  Also used by many EFT Therapists in their own practices.  Click here for JMFT article about how scale was revised 1995_Revision_of_the_DAS.   The Center does not provide training in the use of the R.D.A.S., clinicians must use their own discretion in determining their qualifications and ability to utilize this instrument in their own clinical practice.

Watching Our Own Videos:  Ideas for Watching Our Own Work

What is EFT?  WhatisEFT2013 a handout for new couples or to post on website.  Lisa referenced this at the Externship.


Sue Johnson on the fMRI study, “Soothing the Threatened Brain,”  short video reviewing the study…great addition to a therapists website, Facebook site, etc.

The fMRI study as peer-reviewed and published in the Public Library Online Science One, PLOS ONE, “Soothing the Threatened Brain:  Leveraging Contact Comfort with Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Cycle Version for use with couples or conceptualizing the cycle.  Paul Sigafus, Certified EFT Therapist, developed this useful visual representation of a couple’s negative emotional dance or negative cycle as covering up or keeping them from seeing each other’s vulnerability.  The vulnerability is the “heart of the matter.”  This cycle diagram is designed to be couple-friendly and therapist-useful!  Cycle-vs-Heart-Illustration-for-EFT-2013-11 use by permission of Paul Sigafus, please keep his copyright on copies of this document.

Self-Compassion; we discussed self-compassion for ourselves as therapists.  We encounter couple’s distance, distress, and conflict daily in our work.  Then we help partner’s access hurt, pain, fears, shame and longings.  All of this can be difficult to sit with and we can beat ourselves up mentally for not being able to “fix it” or take away the pain that partner’s need to lean in to as part of the work.  This link is for an self-compassion inventory

Attachment Inventory, for wanting to explore your own current attachment style, this is an online inventory, click here to access.  

Jim Coan, Hand Holding Studies Explained, We’ve been looking for self in the wrong place, we distribute self among our loved ones; we are the cheetahs of self-regulation; he wants to hold my hand all the time now.  If you recall us talking about Jim Coan, the neuroscientist who developed the hand-holding paradigm for measuring response in a fearful situation related to attachment, this link is to his Keynote Address at a conference.  Very useful, if you don’t want to see numbers and graphs, fast forward to the section: He wants to hold me hand all the time about 28 minutes in.

This Being Human is a Guest House,” read and discussed, by Rumi.  For the poem itself, click here.  A great reminder that we are inviting partner’s, clients, to explore parts of themselves and emotions that the larger culture, their families and their experiences may have taught them to avoid, to compartmentalize or that have been frightening or shameful to experience without the empathy and compassion of another human to share them with.

EFT Research, click here to access a brief summary of EFT research and references.  This can be useful in developing your introduction to EFT for colleagues, potential clients, etc. and is invaluable resource for accessing research and deepening knowledge of the model.

If you don’t see a resource, form, link that we promised to have on this page, please e-mail us to let us know.  And if you have a suggestion for a link, please let us know.

BONUS LINK – Sue Johnson, 75 minute delightful, informative, grounding in the model talk from the same conference on attachment that the Jim Coan video is from above.  Enjoy, great booster shot and nice overview to view a few weeks after the externship as a reminder and encourager.  

Homework, click here for link to page about EFT Homework.  Reminder that this is a primarily experiential model and use of homework developed by other models must be done with caution.