Mantra of an EFT Therapist

This is a short piece, Mantra of an EFT Therapist, by Jim Thomas is inspired by the Prayer of St Francis. Jim wrote it in response to a core skills participant asking about the “flow” of Emotionally Focused Therapy and in preparation for a workshop about getting to and doing good Stage 2 Work in E.F.T.   Many on the EFT list serve for ICEEFT resonated with the Mantra and we thought we’d share it here.

“Let me seek less to take away defenses, as to reflect them with a gentle, “Of course, that makes sense to me.

May I seek less to change the negative cycle, as to walk around in it together so they are no longer alone in their dance,

Seek less to teach communication skills, as to access that powerful connecting force, vulnerability,

Seek less to avoid stuck moments, as to lean in to them as opportunities to explore, discover and deepen what we find, and

Seek less to force change, as to create the safe, secure base ,

For it is from that base, they may reach out and connect deeply, perhaps for the first time.  And so,

Where there is chaos, let me sow calm Where this is reactivity, let me be responsive.

Where is there is doubt, let me have hope in this process.

Where there is anger, let me be understanding, and

When I get caught in my fears, doubts or shame, let me also be gentle with myself, just as I am learning to be gentle with my couples.

For it is in the journey alongside them, that we learn this model. Through our being in the struggle with and for our couples, the essential emotions, which invite connection, rise to the surface.

It is here that we learn to see what is yet unseen, and

Here, we witness relationships be reborn and bonds forged deep.

We find ourselves changed, ever more open, accepting and receptive.

Thus, our hearts open wider now to the next couple or family who arrives at our door.”


Mantra of an EFT Therapist, Copyright, 2014, Jim Thomas, LMFT, All Rights Reserved – inspired by the spirit of the Prayer of St. Francis Written while preparing a workshop on Stage 2 work in E.F.T. – Thank you to Sue Johnson for encouraging me to share this –

Jim Thomas, EFT Trainer, LMFT, Approved Supervisor AAMFT
Jim Thomas, EFT Trainer, LMFT, Approved Supervisor AAMFT